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And yet, despite all those messages, all those swipes, all those carefully plotted lines of code … But when he looked at his low match rates — the average guy’s is just .6 percent — he despaired that no amount of manual swiping would generate enough matches to really find anyone.

So, last summer, he built an application to automate the process: swipe right on prospective matches; schedule coffee dates with those who responded; even compile the women’s answers, with their pictures, phone numbers and profile information, into a daily email for him to skim.

Unlike him, however, the engineer wasn’t looking for anything serious.

That’s the sort of miscommunication Stadil hopes to avoid with his next attempt, in which — rather than date strangers at scale — he’s going to look for personal recommendation from friends and friends of friends.

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Stadil did fall pretty hard for one woman in particular: a fellow software engineer who worked at Google.“My friends have suggested I sell it as a product,” Stadil said with a laugh.the fall of 1964, on a visit to the World’s Fair, in Queens, Lewis Altfest, a twenty-five-year-old accountant, came upon an open-air display called the Parker Pen Pavilion, where a giant computer clicked and whirred at the job of selecting foreign pen pals for curious pavilion visitors. Within a year, more than five thousand subscribers had signed on. It would invite dozens of matched couples to singles parties, knowing that people might be more comfortable in a group setting. They wound up in the pages of the New York subscriber.Stadil’s experience — more than an excellent plotline for a rom-com, Hollywood please call him — runs counter pretty much everything we think we know about how online dating works for straight men. And yet, stories such as Stadil’s would seem to suggest that the odds straight men face in the Tinder “numbers game” are even longer than anyone thought.Not long before Stadil published an essay about his experience, researchers published the first paper to quantify how Tinder use differs by gender.




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