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In my experience, these relationships that were “wrong” from the start are very hard to repair.

Meeting someone when you are more mature, know yourself better and have learned how to have relatively healthy relationships (maybe you have been in therapy by now) certainly can bode well for a promising future together.

Feeling torn between two lovers can be an agonizing experience.

Besides the guilt, and fear of discovery, you also know that sooner or later you will have to lose someone you love or have loved.

Imagine you or your partner has to go on a lot of out of town business trips some years into the relationship during a time when you are struggling with conflict. There is also the issue of not having the support of family and friends.

Having long-term successful relationships are difficult enough without trying to do them in a vacuum.

Pitfalls of Affair Relationships Relationships that start as affairs have many strikes against them. They can arise out of an urgent emotional need, a need so urgent that a thoughtful process of getting to know someone and assessing what kind of partnership the two of you would have is not part of the bonding process.

(For an update on this statistic go to “Can Relationships That Start as Affairs Succeed?

Revisited”) But a statistic is just that, and doesn’t tell you anything about your own individual situation.

You may not have been equipped at that time in your life to make an appropriate choice for a life partner.

Admitting the reality of these situation is painful because you can still feel very attached (as distinct from connected) to this person and the idea of leaving can fill you with dread of the loss of security this relationship has provided.




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That's not even counting the ideas I have in my head that I haven't yet posted, or the 12 I gave up on and put up for adoption.


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Other objections raised by creationists are addressed in [Dalrymple2006a].