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"People see commercials and advertisements with cherubic bald women waving pink ribbons, but that's not talking about breast cancer and the realities of going through active treatment," Valerie explains. And I intend to win." Valerie's posts were reposted, commented on, circulated around online cancer support groups."After a few weeks, I discovered that I had a new mission: help people see the grim realities of cancer, so maybe they'd remember to cop a feel at their own breasts or book a checkup." That mission began with a good-bye letter to her breasts: "I looked at Mabel this morning (I named my left breast Mabel—my right one is Hazel) and I feel this weird mixture of anger and loss," Valerie wrote less than a month after her diagnosis. So for today, and just today, I'm going to allow myself a little self-pity. Cats Not Cancer quickly gained more than 2,100 followers on Tumblr, partly because of her content and partly because Valerie took the time to respond to everyone who left messages on her blog looking for guidance, help, or empathy.The mass was so small, her doctor said it was a miracle she'd detected it at all.Then, "when he saw my lymph node, everything changed in the room," Valerie remembers. "He said, 'You have breast cancer, it's extremely aggressive, and you have an MRI scheduled for 4 p.m. Be there.'" The following week was a blur of bone scans, blood tests, PET scans, and other tests and terminology that are all but indecipherable for those who aren't profoundly sick or working in medicine.She named her Tumblr blog Cats Not Cancer because she loves cats (not cancer).Over the course of the next year, Valerie would bluntly document her daily ups and downs: How she named her breasts and the cancerous lymph node she would ultimately have chopped off; her ceremonious Viking boob funeral, where she lit boob-shaped candles and set them adrift in Lake Washington as guests snacked on boob-adorned cupcakes; the shaving of her beautiful red hair for Locks of Love ("I couldn't bear to watch it fall out"); her body's refusal to heal after her first radical mastectomy; how cat purrs help heal a mutinous body; the triumph of revealing her scarred, altered chest on Tumblr for its infamous "Topless Tuesday" shots.

And, if she lived, it would be without breasts or the possibility of ever getting pregnant.Most of the names in this story have been changed to preserve the anonymity of truly sick people.That said, to the extent that this story has played out on the internet, it is a matter of public record.alerie was lying in her boyfriend's bed early on the morning of September 16, 2010, when she detected what 12 percent of women will face in their lifetime: a tiny lump buried in her left breast. She was only 36 and healthy in a typical Northwest way—ate organic, biked 100 miles a week—and her annual breast exam had been blessedly lump-free only four months earlier.Over the phone, Beth sounded very young and painfully shy, and yet: "She was almost casual about the whole thing," Valerie recalls. Despite her suspicions, she continued to e-mail Beth. "I'd only known this girl a few weeks, and it sounded like she had people in her life mistreating her."She was hesitant to even call what happened rape." E-mails forwarded to me by Valerie confirm her account. Like the whole thing is just gross, but secondly, I could have gotten really sick from that! I just wanted to offer what support I could." And who was she to judge the coping mechanisms of a 19-year-old cancer patient and struggling full-time student who spent Christmas being raped by her uncle?




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