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Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?

Do you spend most of your free time staring daggers at the “in a relationship” status on your one-true-love’s Facebook?

A bit like Snapchat, the app timecaps your encounters, only letting you search for available and interested people near you for one hour.

Unlike Tinder, the app doesn’t force you to link to your Facebook or other social network presence, meaning internet evidence of your shameful hour of need is minimal.

A bit like how Jordan writes all her books, but for sex.

The website markets itself as “dating, done for you” and promises to land you eight dates per month, depending on how much you’re willing to fork out for the service.

The main problem with the app is that joining the mile high club is probably a lot better as a fantasy than a reality – in reality your flight will just be full of hungover dehydrated adults, the occasional screeching stag or hen, and screaming children, which isn’t exactly the best pool to pick from. The app boasts that it will help you “bribe your way to a date”, by letting people exchange a bouquet of flowers, a romantic dinner, a shopping trip, or an outdoor adventure in exchange for a first date.

You might think you’re pretty good in bed, but if you’re someone who often wonders just how well you compare to others during sex, now you can check those crippling insecurities with Passion!

This app measures how well you perform during sex and gives you a rating from 0-10, ten being the highest, zero being very depressing.

Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.

Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.




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