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"There was an incredible amount of tension," agrees Patrick. Ken Fine, dad to 18-month-old Henry in San Francisco, approaches the housework dilemma philosophically.

One strategy to decrease infighting: Post a list of daily chores on the fridge and switch responsibilities each week. "The way I figure it, there's about 180 percent of stuff that needs to be done.

I know it might not seem fair because you may never get thanks, but this will make your husband more receptive to future requests. You may also find that your parenting styles clash as you reach for the pacifier at the first sign of distress (softie) while your partner says no sternly when the baby starts to drum with spoons on the high-chair tray (toughie).

My friends Tina and Tim Anson discovered that they differed on just about everything when it came to the baby.

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"So my husband and I started keeping score: Well, I did that, so you do this."As long as things are getting done, this tit-for-tat system may not be so bad, but the constant background buzz of nagging can cause resentment to build up over time.

How had I failed to notice that he didn't know how to make a bed?

Or that he was such a Nervous Nellie he would have to line the floor with pillows before he'd lie on the couch with the baby?

And my previously lauded spontaneity was now a fatal flaw called disorganization. Making the leap from coupledom to baby-makes-three is exciting, exhilarating, and wonderful.

It's also exhausting, exasperating, and worrisome—a combination that can be toxic to the romantic relationship that made you parents in the first place.




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This is best reflected by the high divorce rate and the fact that most relationships in the United States do not have a lot of longevity.


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We are concerned she is thinking about becoming a Mormon, and we need information on how best to handle this situation.” OUR RESPONSE: We often receive inquiries from concerned parents whose son or daughter is dating a Mormon.


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While some women may date men who are domineering because our culture prescribes that this is what they should want, “nice guys” often make this accusation against women who aren’t seeking out jerks.


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